22.4.10

Boobquake: Promiscuous Women the Cause for Tectonic Calamity?

I couldn't help but post about this. My wife recently found a blogger by the name of Jennifer McCreight who, amongst other cool and nerdy things, found out that scantily clad, promiscuous women are the cause of the world's earthquakes, according to Iranian Cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi (say THAT five times fast). Sedighi's quote goes something like this:
Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.

Really? So, one of my favorite things on earth is one of the sole causes for devastating tectonic upheaval? Hmmm. This warrants some research.

I'm not sure about you, but throughout my various learnings in the realm of earth science, I was under the impression that earthquake activity was caused mainly by the movement of tectonic plates of the earth's crust against each other, resulting in "quaking" or "shaking" effects on the surface of the earth. Here, better yet, I'll quote the official definition of an earthquake:
A sudden movement of the earth's crust caused by the release of stress accumulated along geologic faults or by volcanic activity. Also called seismtemblor.

Huh. Just as I thought. But, wait...where does that leave the theory of cleric Sedighi? I'm intrigued, so I'm willing to perform a little more research in this matter. The definition of a breast (redirected from the term "boob") as recorded by Wikipedia:
The breast is the upper ventral region of an animal’s torso, particularly that of mammals, including human beings. The breasts of a female primate’s body contain the mammary glands, which secrete milk used to feed infants.

Both men and women develop breasts from the same embryological tissues. However, at puberty, female sex hormones, mainly estrogen, promote breast development which does not occur in men. As a result, women's' breasts become far more prominent than those of men.

Oh? Women's breasts become far more "prominent" than those of men? Interesting. Then that MUST be the reason that females are causing earthquakes. Now I think I see what direction cleric Sedighi is going with his divine information. So now we've got evidence of females having larger mammaries than males. Then, you have the fact that these "boobs" are a highly desirable commodity by the male population in general, and cause problems with chastity, leading men astray and are the source of adultery. And finally, by NOT covering these entities it somehow changes the natural progression of tectonic activity, therefore creating a chain-reaction of violent and far-reaching Gaia-mantle devastation. I, obviously, see the parallels now.

So, what is Jen McCreight's scientific solution to this cataclysmic problem? Why, Boobquake, of course. From her site (posted Monday, April 19th):
On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own. Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that's your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I'm sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn't rumble. And if we reallyget through to him, maybe it'll be one involving plate tectonics

And so Boobquake was born. In just a few short days, Jen's blog-spun "movement" has created a firestorm of media interest, including contacts from CNN, radio stations as far as Ireland and one of my favorites, Comedy Central's Tosh.0. Way to go, Jen! I expect great things from this purely scientific endeavor!

Follow Jen on Twitter: @jennifurret, or look up the tag #boobquake for more information...

Oh yeah, follow ME on Twitter (@thegeeksource) for any late-breaking cleavage news I can muster on this subject!

No comments:

Post a Comment